Thursday, November 29, 2012

How many friends do you need?

I need 3, I've decided, because that's how many I have right now.  At least, in close proximity to me. 

Two of them are guys, and they enjoy making fires and drinking Cranberry-lime seltzer.  They like to dance, and together we have a good time.  The third is Dana.  She has two young boys, has never worn mom jeans, and cooks like a pro.  We'll drink wine together, and gossip.

This is my social life right now.  My college friend Sasha would be appalled.  She lives through her friendships.  At school, she would get handwritten notes in the mail everyday, the envelopes covered in inky flowers.  She sent and received care packages regularly.  She penciled Skype dates into her Moleskine planner.  She is one of those friends who finds that book you were talking about that one day in February and sends it, wrapped in Newspaper, to your home address. 

I am no such friend.  I love my friends, I really do (hi, everyone!).  But I escaped my college graduation early because I couldn't handle all the goodbyes--the friendships, the closeness, all saturated onto the 100 yards of grass on which we all stood, shielding the sun from our eyes with our graduation caps.

I remember that my psychology class freshman year of college addressed extroversion vs. introversion. We filled out surveys.  Our professor said that we should all have a strong hunch already, an idea of which one we thought we were.  My peers nodded knowingly.  Apparently they did, but I had no idea. I'm outgoing, I thought.  Social, chatty.  But sometimes I hate parties.  I find myself in bathrooms, breathing deeply out of relief, peering at face creams, wondering how long I can stay in there without raising suspicion that I'm emptying my bowels.  I seek comfort in myself more than others, I realized, filling out the survey.  It resulted in introversion.  Me, introverted.  Perhaps that explains why 3 friends suits me perfectly right now.  I just don't think it's as simple as that.  (of course, it never is).

How many friends make you happy? Three? Twenty? Or just one?

1 comment:

  1. The time may come when you have a wider social circle, but for now, enjoy your seltzer sipping, fire loving, radio geek boys and that super hot, damn good cook, gossiping Spanish girl... They may be just what you need here and now!