Wednesday, April 24, 2013

My Fool Proof Guide to Hitting On A Woman

Recently, I was hit on by a guy at a bar.  His pick up line was: do you have facebook?

It was so eye opening that I thought, I have to write about this.  So here are four little rules I think should always apply...

1.  Read body language.  It tells you everything you need to know, I swear.  Is she relaxed, dancing, swinging her arms? Or are her arms pinned down by her sides? Is she constantly checking her phone (read: another man) and clinging to her girlfriend? These are all signs!  If you look back at photos of Brad and Jennifer on the red carpet months before their tragic divorce, their pelvic bones were facing away from one another.  It’s ALL there. People study this stuff!

2. Do not linger.  Lingerers are the worst.  They circle, they lurk, and most of all, they send off the message that they are preparing themselves.  Eeek! I don’t think it’s really a turn on to anyone.  

3. Do not start off by offering to buy her a drink.  This thing happens where the girl feels pressured and obligated to accept and speak to you, even if she isn’t interested.  Start up the conversation first.  Get ten minutes into it.  Is she still smiling? Is she leaning in to hear you? Then buy her a drink. 

4. Do it solo.  There's something about "teaming up" with a friend or two, then approaching a group of girls together, that comes across as a little too goal oriented, and kind of like a cop out!

What do you think? Have anything to add? Bar culture, in general, is so odd...


(photo via tumblr

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